For that Alone
by elspeth725
Summary: Sano's thoughts on K


Warnings: A depressed Sano?  
  
Genre: dunno exactly… sap I guess. Keth says it's too depressing to be a sappy fic and that it's definitely dark. So maybe…. A dark sappy fic?  
  
  
  
Disclaimers: ::points to self:: Nope I don't own RK ::points to Kethry:: She doesn't own RK ::points to Kawaii:: Neither does she! ::waves to include all of the ml:: Nobody here owns RK!!! Kappish?!?!  
  
  
  
I've known you for so long  
  
You are a friend of mine  
  
But is this all we'll ever be?  
  
I've loved you ever since  
  
You are a friend of mine  
  
And is this all we ever could be?  
  
Friend of Mine  
  
Lea Salonga  
  
  
  
At least I know she's happy. I thought as I watched the happy couple enter the house from my corner on the front porch, drinking a bottle of sake on my own. The wedding feast has mellowed down somewhat from the loud boisterousness it had been a couple of hours ago. Most of the well-wishers were now either on their way home, out cold on the floor drunk or in the process of getting drunk.  
  
Everybody had rejoiced when the two had finally decided to marry. Everybody, from, Yahiko, to megitsune, to the weasel girl, Genzai-sensei, the oniwabanshuu and even Aoshi, the icicle that he was. They all agreed that it was about time.  
  
Everybody it seemed…but me. I couldn't help but laugh bitterly.  
  
I am happy for them but my feelings are so mixed up. Che, they always are when it regards her.  
  
She looked really beautiful today in her white kimono with her hair all pinned up away from her face, but then she always does. I've often wondered how soft her hair is. The ebony tresses looked so much like satin that I'm sure it would feel the same way. Or how smooth & soft her skin is. She is exquisite, the promise of beauty so perfect that it would take your breath away. But it was more than that; she was so spirited, so full of life, so vibrant. She always had that air about her, that glow she alone has. And how when she smiled at you she made you feel like you could do anything.  
  
It's been like that even when I first saw her at the Akabeko. I was there to bum a meal from Tae-san as usual when there she was and I then knew how it felt like to have the world drop from under my feet.  
  
She had been with Genzai-sensei, the kids, Yahiko and…Kenshin. Even then I knew that she belonged to him. I could see it in her eyes. When I found out about Kenshin being battousai, I was torn. I would have to fight him of course I knew that. And part of me was glad because that would mean that I had a chance if I defeated him but I knew that if I did I could never face her. But I had to; Captain Sagara Souzou's memory deserved that at least. I was a fool to think that I could ever defeat him.  
  
Then I got to know him and it sealed my fate. He is one of the only two people in the world that I truly admire. And her, well she's the love that I know I'll never have.  
  
I'm twice damned.  
  
But in spite of all that I'm grateful to them. They gave me a family and a place I could call home. And I'm content just to be around her, to be part of her life. But there are times when I wish I could be something more. To her I will always be Tori-atama and nothing else. Because of that I hid behind insults and my vices, hoping they never see through the mask.  
  
I almost couldn't go through with the ceremony that afternoon. Acting as the 'go between' is extremely awkward when you have feelings for your best friend's woman. To see the love in his eyes reflected in hers…. but I'm glad for that, I'm truly happy for him, he deserves the happiness that I know she would bring him. And I truly wish him well; he is the brother I never had. But when I presented them with the three meoto sakazuki cups filled with Sake, I couldn't help but wish that I were in his place. That I….  
  
Chikuso! I hate this! I hate feeling sorry for myself. But I do.  
  
Then there was the Kitsune-onna, we're quite a pair, Megumi and me. She's in love with him and me…I'm in love with Jouchan.  
  
We're a pair of damned fools.  
  
It really was amusing in a dark way and I can't help but laugh bitterly at the irony of it all. At least the Megitsune's not so affected. Oh she still cares for him but it wasn't the same as it was before. I guess her feelings have changed somewhat. If the looks she keeps throwing my way is any indication, she's not pining for him.  
  
I wish I could say the same. Maybe someday I can return the Kitsune-onna's feelings but I will not …no…I cannot stop loving her.  
  
I am doomed.  
  
I will love her till the day I die.  
  
But despite my pain, I know that she is happy.  
  
And even for that alone….  
  
I'm glad.  
  
  
  
  
  
And tell me things I've never known  
  
I've shown you love you'll never show.  
  
But then again when you cry,  
  
I'm always at your side.  
  
And tell me about the love you have  
  
I listen very eagerly.  
  
But deep inside you'll never see  
  
This feeling of emptiness,  
  
That makes me feel sad.  
  
But then again  
  
I'm glad.  
  
  
  
Friend of Mine  
  
Lea Salonga  
  
  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Gomen ne Sano and Megumi fans. I just had to write this, you understand, don't you?  
  
Sniff... Sniff…poor Sano. Bad elspeth-san bad!  
  
If you guys are wondering why Sano is there for k&k's wedding well, I didn't like the idea that he left at all so let's call it…. creative license, k?  
  
There might be slight inconsistencies and oociness…sorry.  
  
Tell me what you think, k?  
  
  
  
Thanks for reading!!  
  
Ja!  
  
Elspeth 


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